4 Ways to Be a Great Ally at Work
Listen more than you speak
This one is fairly self explanatory, however if it is a challenge for you, practice writing down what you have to say instead of saying it out loud. You can do this in meetings and at events. Save your comment for later or maybe just keep it to yourself.
2. Ask questions
Asking questions is great! But make sure you don’t expect someone from an underrepresented group to do the work for you. Ask people for input when appropriate but be mindful of their time and the type of contribution they want to make. Ensure you have a relationship with the person before asking for their input. You can even ask them if they are willing and comfortable to share their experience, give them a real out if they don’t want to.
When it comes to basic education of someone’s experience, there are so many articles, books, podcasts, movies, and more where you can learn about the experiences and opinions of people different from you.
Here are some recommendations to name a few:
Podcasts:
Unlocking Us, Brene Brown interviews people from a variety of backgrounds including activists, authors, celebrities, and experts in their field
Your First Million, Arlan Hamilton goes behind-the-scenes with founders who have made their first million dollars, obtained a million followers, and more
Tilted, A Lean In Podcast, Season 2 begins with two interviews on the gender binary that are so worth the listen
Articles:
The Real Reason Women Aren’t Getting Ahead in Tech by Jess Iandiorio
Beyond Donations, How to Stop the Spread of Racism in Tech by Adrian Githuku
The Case for Reparations by Ta-Nehisi Coates
The State of Black Women in Corporate America by Lean In Org
“Diversity of Thought” Without Diverse Representation is Just the Status Quo by Michelle Kim
Books:
Born A Crime by Trevor Noah
My Grandmother’s Hands by Resmaa Menakem
White Fragility by Robin Diangelo
A Queer and Pleasant Danger by Kate Bornstein
The Girl with Seven Names by Lee Hyeon-Seo
The Water Dancer by Ta-Nehisi Coates
It’s About Damn Time by Arlan Hamilton
Dear Girls by Ali Wong
Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides
Not Fade Away by Rebecca Alexander
When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi
Brotopia by Emily Chang
Wasted: A Memoir About Anorexia and Bulimia by Marya Hornbacher
We Should All Be Feminists by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
3. Accept feedback with grace, and if you got defensive, apologize
When someone gives you feedback that something you said or did was inappropriate or not in line with being an ally, try not to get defensive. Messing up doesn’t make someone a bad person or even a bad ally. Everyone makes mistakes and not being afraid to do the work in spite of that is part of what makes someone a great ally.
If you do get defensive in the moment, make sure to apologize later and thank the person for their feedback. That kind of feedback is so valuable and getting defensiveness as a response can make it hard for that person to continue to feel comfortable speaking up. Once you’ve apologized, move on. Don’t center yourself and your feelings by over apologizing and making it a bigger deal than the impacted person does.
4. Show up
This can mean different things for different people as doing this work can look so many different ways. It may mean showing up to attend an event and show your support (can be virtually during times of Covid), speaking up at a meeting when a microaggression occurs against a coworker, even showing support virtually like speaking up on company Slack channels to show support for a holiday or celebration.
